We’ve all experienced it. Whether it was at a bar, the grocery store on your evening walk, you’ve been stared at, talked to, or straight-up hit on when you weren’t expecting it, and didn’t want it. Getting hit on, or even just Iooked at is one of the most uncomfortable things that women experience, especially when it’s happening at an inappropriate place, and what’s worse is that some women have resolved to just expecting it every time they leave their home.
Being cat-called or leered at can leave you feeling really insecure, unsafe and unsure of yourself. There’s no worse feeling than just not knowing what to do, and a lot of times in these moments, we panic. The attention we’re already getting is so uncomfortable that the last thing we want to do is to draw even MORE attention to ourselves by speaking up and confronting the offender.
Fear not my ladies, for here are 10 things you can do to make men stop staring, gawking, cat-calling or hitting on you.
- Work on Your Confidence. If you feel confident, you look confident, walk confidently, and ACT confidently. Most creeps are intimidated by confidence. Do whatever you need to improve your self-confidence. Join a kickboxing gym, talk to a therapist, buy a leather jacket and put your poodle in a spiked collar. YOU DO YOU.
- Remember That You Don’t Owe Anyone ANYTHING. This goes along with the confidence boost, but you do not owe any person a second of your time, a bit of your attention. You do not have to smile and wave at a person. You do not have to speak to the guy at the bar who won’t leave you alone. You don’t have to lie and say you have a boyfriend, because you also owe NO excuses. You can be single AND not want to talk to every male in a 20-mile radius.
- Be Aware of Your Situation. The situation you’re in determines how you should handle these things. If you’re getting hit on by a guy while you’re at work, that’s completely unacceptable, ask him to leave or tell your boss to. If you are at a bar, a lot of people go to bars to find someone to hook up with, if you’ve expressed disinterest an the person still won’t leave you alone, you do what you gotta do, girl. Make some noise, be rude, ask the bartender to kick him out.
- Perfect your RBF. For whatever reason, creeps have it in their heads that women should be happy go lucky all the time, and they tend to stay away from women who look obviously annoyed or like they might snap at you. I put on my RBF anytime I go out in public by myself or after dark. I’m on higher alert during these times, and I don’t want to look approachable to anyone. For any reason. I want creeps to think ‘oh jeez, if I say something to her she’s likely to kick me in the balls’ BECAUSE I AM. (or am I? Who knows. Not creeps.)
- Make them more uncomfortable than they’ve made you. This one is good for someone who is staring at you or who keeps talking to you after you’ve expressed disinterest: A blank stare, directly into their eyes should make them cower in fear and self-loathing. Like you’re trying to dominate a dog… I mean, you basically are at this point.
- Make Their Behavior Obvious. A big smile and wave at a gawker are likely to startle him and redirect his creepy gaze. A loud “NO MEANS NO” to a guy who keeps insisting on buying you a drink will undoubtedly make him feel uncomfortable enough to leave you alone. Don’t be afraid to draw attention to your situation. If anything goes awry, it will be good for people to know that he made you uncomfortable, and they’ll remember that should anything dangerous occur.
- Embrace Your Inner Tattletale. Tell your boss, your manager, HIS manager, the bartender, whoever. Tell the world if ya need to, girl.
- Ask them to repeat themselves. If someone catcalls you, it’s likely they are expecting you to either ignore them or flip them off and keep walking. They won’t expect you to sweetly and innocently ask them to repeat themselves. “What was that? I didn’t hear you!” It forces them to interact with you as a human, rather than just someone walking by they can degrade and forget about. They’ll likely be too ashamed of themselves to repeat it. Giving you the chance to put on your bitchy pants and say. “THAT’S what I thought.” And walk away. They might call you a bitch, that’s fine, they can think that.. they’re just perverts anyways. But arm yourself with a comeback in case they do repeat themselves. A disgusting look and a “Did you actually think that was going to work?” Should make them feel the right amount of pathetic.
- Carry Mace. You know what they say: when in doubt, whip it out. Even if you don’t spray it, the threat is more than enough to get your point across.
There are several options for dealing with a dude who creeps you out. It’s important to remember that if someone is behaving in a way that makes you uncomfortable, they likely aren’t able to be reasoned with. They won’t see their actions as creepy or inappropriate, so there is no point in trying to show them the light. With these tips in mind, you’ll know exactly what to do next time someone makes you feel uncomfortable.
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